'Sarah' x

Two people can be so similar, yet, so different in numerous ways. Tonight is a night which i will want to forget as soon as possible. Arguments happen in all relationships. I am currently sat here writing this understanding fully that i have put the one element to my life that is so important right now in deep jeapody. For some reason, i dont seem to learn from mistakes, and continue to make the same ones repeatedly, resulting in me usually losing something that means so much. That thing at present is my beautiful girlfriend, Sarah, or more commonly known, (munch). If she were a star, she would be the brightest one in the midnight sky, if she were a colour, she would be gold, a colour more bold, confident and pure than the rest. If she were the sea, she would be the clearest and calmest in the universe. If she were the sun, she would shine her light upon everyone she comes across each and every single day. If she were light, she would be the most brightly glowing white light on the earth. If she is still mine in 3 hours time, i will be the luckiest human being that has ever stepped foot on our planet, or any other in the universe. It is obvious to her that i am in love with her so deeply, however, the smaller things that arent initially there to hurt someone, cause the most upset. The problem i seem to have is stopping these smaller things from happening. Why? you ask.....i am not entirely sure, i dont intend to hurt people, and to say your in love with someone is a massive step. But as time passes, i am starting to believe that she deserves love which i just cant offer, protection, trust, faith, loyalty and attention which i dont seem to have the greatest ability to show. As i write this , a small tear is falling down my cheek as im fearing the worst case scenario. Her words this evening were, ; I know it would kill you if we broke up,' and i couldnt have put it any better, or more simply than that. Relationships are amazing, but very difficult to keep strong, i thought we were ultimate, but as tonight shows, this isnt the case. I would honestly die for my beautiful Sarah, as long as she was able to go on living a healthy, and happy life with anyone. I cant see my life without her, she is the final piece to my soul that makes me feel safe and secure. I am also overly proud of her, the way she balances her social life, her personal family life, her uni work and then me. No man could ever wish to meet a sweeter, generous, stunning and sympathetic woman. If anyone argues this fact, i would like to see the day they show me someone better!!!

My love for her is endless, my loyalty is greater than life itself!, ,i just need her to realise that no matter what i say and do, she is the only person i wish to spend the remainder of my life with.

All my love, Max xxx

'Seeing is believing'

Weird isnt it...how things change i mean. It has been exactly 3 months since my last post. The reasons for this are numerous. Uni work has kept me away from such time wasting tasks as this, going out with my friends, making new friends, finding myself, working and loving my life. Yet, now, at 3.30am with such an emotional band as Coldplay rushing through my head, its hard not to reflect back over recent times. So, where did it all begin????? January 17th, a day i shall never forget, a day when a spark of light flew past my eyes...only a flash...but the flash was bright enough to notice and to take a mental picture enabling me to hold such an image in my head. What image you are asking..? Imagine an angel, fallen from heaven, glowing with excitement, expectation, dreams and love. A weird combination i know but still a fantastic one all the same. If you look back to my January post and read the last 4 lines or so you will understand that the person mentioned grew on me over those next few days. The harmless flirting over text became, strangely, much more powerful, almost like a hold had been placed on me by fate and it wasnt going to let go! The main thought at this time was, anticipation...anticipation of that first moment when eyes connect, two people look at one another, their poriferal vision blurs, focus is only between those two soles and it happens.....a kiss, one small kiss, but fires light up inside your stomach, a warm glow runs through your veins. And the next feeling, well is simply a feeling of craving the moment that has just passed. From this point on my life has changed dramatically. Imagine a lollipop..silly as it may sound, just imagine for a second how sweet to taste one is... this was her...my lollipop, nothing had ever tasted so sweet, no one had ever tasted so sweet. A few weeks passed with other meetings and sparks that failed to go away, but instead, get progressively stronger until the sparks became solid light, the brightest white light you can picture, the purest light. We have now become desperately close and cannot stand to be away from each other even after this short amount of time. Its clear this post is dedicated to her, but right now i cant think of anything else but her. To believe something so beautiful could exist in this world is unimaginable, unbelieveable in fact. But, my mum always told me as a child, 'maxwell, you have to see something to believe it......i finally see it, this profound beauty that has entered my life and now, i cannot imagine my life if she disappeared. The morale of this post is seeing is believing, there is someone out there for all of us, but to want it enough you have to look hard enough..............................................'S.E.E' it.................. 'S.arah E.lizabeth E.vans' i love you xxx